Sanity? Are You Kidding
By Raymond Johnston Jr, Thu Dec 8th

by Raymond Johnston Jr.

Do you have what it takes to be an ezine publisher? Someone toldme the other day that anyone could become a newsletter or ezinepublisher. That put me into some deep thought about thesituation.

I decided that it was probably true that anyone could become apublisher of an ezine or newsletter. The trick is to publish onethat is successful and still keep one's sanity.

Sanity you ask? How could I possibly lose my sanity putting outan issue of a newsletter or ezine? Well my good friend, let mehelp you count the ways.

Right after I first started publishing, I had the chance to goup to a mountain lake with some friends one evening. I actuallyneeded to get my ezine out but I thought what the heck, I willget up a few hours early tomorrow morning and finish putting ittogether. Wrong unwise one.

The next morning when I got up my electricity was off. I waitedquite impatiently as I watched the hours tick away. My wife hada doctor's appointment that afternoon, so I had to leave to takeher to town. She had been unable to drive for the last fewmonths due to destroyed ligaments in her foot.

I tried to not think about it as I took her to town. Of coursewhen we finished at the doctor's office, she insisted that Itake her out to eat. Well, if you think there was any way that Icould say no to that one, you obviously don't have a wife. Oryou won't have one for long.

We arrived back home late in the afternoon. I was thrilled tofind that the electricity was working again. I started puttingtogether my issue of the ezine. I went to connect to theinternet to send it out and could not hook up to my ISP.

I got on the phone and called my ISP and was told that they werehaving problems of some sort and were not sure when servicewould be restored.

By this time it was getting on up in the evening and all at oncethe realization came that I should already have tomorrow's issueready and yet I had not even started.

This was far from comforting. So I started putting tomorrow'sissue together. I had just started working on it when my wifehollered and asked me if I was going to work all night. That'sright I thought, I promised her that I would spend some timewith her this evening.

After spending a couple of hours with my wife, I started workingon the ezine again. I worked until about 2:00 AM. I finallyfinished and went up to get a few hours sleep before I had toget back up.

About 3:30 I was startled out of bed by what appeared to be aloud scream. I started running towards my wife's bedroom whenhere came that startling sound again. It was my Tom Cat. He wasready to go outside. Oh I could ignore him but if you knowanything about Tom

Cats, that would have only punished myselfmore.

I went back to bed only to be awaken by a cat fight around 4:45.The Tom from the next valley over had came over to pay us afriendly visit. Of course his idea of a friendly visit was tocome over and see if he could kill my cat.

Well my cat had not made any brownie points by waking me upearlier but if I did not go rescue him, I would be in the doghouse with my wife. This would never work because the only petfacility that we had was a small cat palace and I already had abackache.

To heck with trying to sleep. I went to check and see if my ISPwas back up. Great, I was back in business. I first sent outyesterday's issue and then put the finishing touches on today's.I then sent it out as well.

I then decided to go check my mail and make sure I received bothissues. I looked at the first issue and I had forgotten to putthe right address in the Title. Instead of my first name, whichwill show if I type the following [FIRSTNAME], I saw [FIRSTNAME.I had forgot to close my parenthesis and everyone's ezine cameout addressed to [FIRSTNAME.

I then took a look at today's issue. I had typed in the wrongdate on the top, I had forgotten to put contact information inmy ad for a advertising special. I was not feeling real goodabout myself at this point.

I then looked back at my mail and saw a note addressed to mewith suggestion as the subject. I thought, to heck with readingthat. After the last two days, they are probably suggesting thatI take a permanent vacation. I just don't know if I can takethat kind of rejection right now. I need sleep.

I headed up to bed and passed my wife who was heading down thesteps. She asked if I was going up to change into work clothes.My mind started churning, what had I promised to do thismorning?

She brought me out of my thought by informing me that she woulddo the inside of the windows while I did the outside.

Sanity? That has long since passed me by.

So back to the question, can anyone publish an ezine?

Well if the subscriber who sent me the suggestion is anywhereclose to correct, I am not qualified to answer. Here is hissuggestion.

You could not publish a #$%&*%$ ezine if your ^$##@*%#* lifedepended on it.

I also got brave and told my wife that I don't do windows.

I am now trying to get some of the sleep that my body sodesperately needs but the accommodations seem less than cozy.This cat palace is sure not the luxurious place that I had beenled to believe.

Honey, I was just kidding, I will gladly help with thosewindows.

About the author:Raymond Johnston Jr is a semi retired advertising executive. Heis a published poet and writer and is the editor and publisherof Money For Hire Ezine. You can contact Ray through his websiteat http://www.moneyforhire.com